Early Potty Training

I began with my daughter when she was just nine-months-old.  I remember the day that I bought her little, pink potty.  As I went through the checkout line at Wally World, the woman looked at Julia sitting in the cart and remarked, “Surely, you’re not buying this for this little girl.  It must be for her big sister.”

                “Actually, it is for her.  We’re starting early potty training today,” I proudly replied.

                “Well, you can’t do that.  That’s child abuse expecting a little one to do something like that,” she exclaimed.

                This is a hot topic with my family.  Every time someone notices that my daughter, who just turned two, is no longer wearing a diaper, there are lots of questions about how I did it.  My answers are often met with jealous stares at my child, as if it’s her fault that they did not put in the time and effort with their own children at an early age.  The information on this method is very scarce.  I actually stumbled upon it myself.  My mother had told me that I, as a baby, was potty-trained before I turned two.  I researched ways to potty train early and came upon an article about “elimination communication.”

                Unfortunately, articles about this will claim that your child can be toilet trained by the time they are walking.  This, in my experience, is coming from either some delusional nutcase or someone that is just trying to sell their book or a website membership.  If you can get your child to learn before turning two, this is ideal.  As most of us know, very few two-year-olds want to learn anything that puts them in a controlled setting.  I am going to just give you what I did, and what I will do with any of my future children.  The main thing to keep in mind is that every child is different and learns at their own pace.  There are many reasons to consider starting early: excessive diaper rash, eliminating waste of disposable diapers from the environment, the cost of diapers, or maybe you are just sick of changing them.  Whatever your reason, respect your child, and do not push them too hard.

               

               

potty = happy

Stage One

This beginning stage is usable at just about any age, from the time your child can steadily sit up on their own through the toddler years.  I started with Julia when she was around 10-months-old.  It’s really very simple.  Start off by sitting your child on the potty after meals, first thing in the morning, and right before going to bed.  These are just some of the times that are most common when starting out.  Let your child get up when they want to.  Whatever you do, do not force them.  By starting this way, you will learn your child’s signals for when they have to go.  Often times, a funny face or a shiver doesn't mean your kid is being silly or is cold but has to go.  You don’t have to do this all day, every day.  The point of doing this early teaches your child that it’s okay to sit on their potty and that this is where they should be going.  Once you start this, you’ll be cutting down on diaper costs and wastes, as well as those nasty diaper rashes.  You don’t have to offer big rewards either.  A simple round of applause sufficed for Julia. 

Another important part of potty training, whether starting out early or later on, is allowing your child to watch you go.  I know this sounds strange, but remember that your child wants to be like you.  I feel awkward going into personal details like this about ourselves, but in being helpful to others, I suppose I should do so.  Something that was beneficial for us was to go at the same time.  I had Julia clap for me just as we clapped for her.  Again, this goes back to the monkey-see-monkey-do.

Stage Two

                You can start this stage when the child is able to communicate verbally that they have to go.  This is where teaching your child “when to go” becomes important.  In this stage, your child is learning how to be self-aware of their body and how it works.  Diapers pull the wetness away from your child’s skin, so it is important to use another form of clothing for your child’s bottom.  Don’t throw out your diapers just yet, because you will still need them overnight and when leaving the house.  You will have limited choices on garments in small sizes.  You may have to fashion your own cloth diapers.  We found that disposable training pants were too large for Julia but were able to purchase cloth training pants in size 18 months online.  Some parents allow their children to simply be naked  at home when going through this stage.  Whatever you decide, make sure that your child will be able to tell when they are wet or soiled.  Be prepared to clean up lots of messes as you are probably used to diapers that don’t leak and don’t have to be rinsed and washed.  This is the most frustrating stage of all, because it can take a few months for your child to really get the hang of it and become accident-free.

                We started this stage when Julia was around 15-months-old.  Again, rewards are a great tool for success in this stage.  A mere clap is probably not the greatest reward.  A great reward ideas for this stage are food (a single potato chip or Gerber snack), playing games with the child (dress up time with Mommy or pretending to be zoo animals), or a favorite of my own was keeping a toy separate that is only played with as a potty reward.  Reward your child every time they make it to the potty without an accident.  Do not scold them when they don’t make it in time, instead explain to them that those things belong in the potty and that they need to tell you when they have to go.  It is important that you are always paying close attention to your child’s signals.  You cannot expect your child to tell you right away that they have to go.  Make sure you are teaching them to say the word you've chosen for potty time to prepare for the next stage.

Stage Three

Running out of skin for tattoos

                Once your little one is telling you that they have to go successfully before an accident, it’s time to move on to the next stage.  This is where you are expecting the most out of your child.  Be patient with them at all times.  You will now be teaching them to tell you every time, eliminating accidents until you are officially daytime potty trained.  This stage became successful for us when Julia was around 16-months-old.  You will have to plan on being home with your child for a few days.  This means not going anywhere.  Have a discussion with your child about what you expect from them and what they can expect from you.  You are going to expect your child to tell you every time they have to go, and they can expect a certain reward from you each time they do so.  Also, you’ll want to entice them with a large reward for the first day they go without an accident.  A great way to do the small rewards is with stickers or temporary tattoos.  This allows the child to show off their success to other family members and other people when you eventually get to go out somewhere.  Our large reward was to pick out a pet fish.  We took Julia to the store and showed her all the fishies that she could choose if she went a whole day without an accident.

                On day one, you will be staying home for the entire day.  Again, don’t scold for accidents but explain that they can’t get their reward unless they go in the potty.  Watch for their normal signals and ask them if they have to go before taking them.  Wait for an answer.  It is important that your kiddo is telling you that they have to go and not the other way around.  As much as it may frustrate you, allow them to have accidents if they are not telling you.  This shows them it is their responsibility to communicate their need to go.  On day two, follow the same as day one, but throw in some time to play outside or a quick trip to go get the mail or something similar to this.  You can only leave the house directly after a successful trip to the potty.  If your child is not getting the hang of this right away, you may have to go back to step two for a while and try again in a couple of weeks. 

Meet Pinky!

Repeat day two until you have a day without any accidents.  Just be prepared that it may take a few days.  You’ll have to plan your outings around successful potty times.  Use your discretion whether to put them in a diaper when going out for longer periods.  Keep your outings short and remind the child to tell you they have to go, even though you are not at home.  This may require an added reward for when you are out.  We took Julia to a moon bounce place as a rewarded outing one day.  We told her that if she told us she had to go while we were there, we would get her a stuffed toy from the gift shop.  Within the first half hour we found ourselves purchasing a pink monkey toy for her.  It had Velcro on its hands and legs, so we attached it to her and let her wear it.  She paraded that monkey around like she’d won a gold medal at the Olympics.  By that evening, we had been all day without an accident.  We headed to the store, and she picked out a pink fish.

Don’t automatically assume that your child is now completely potty-trained.  You will probably still have accidents, and undoubtedly your child will not get the hang of being potty-trained overnight for some time.  My Julia is now two, and she still can’t stay dry overnight.  We still have accidents here and there, but it gets better over time.  If you have shared custody of your child with your ex, just make sure you explain to them the process and hope for the best.  Daycare situations are the same way.  Most will be willing to help you out any way they can.  After all, it’s one less child to change every day.

Good luck with your potty training, and please pass this info on to your friends and family members with young children.  Feel free to leave comments on this blog about any reward ideas or training pant options that you've discovered or tried.