Pooh Pooh's Vacation: Using a Lovey

Kissing Pooh Pooh

                The day after Julia was born, her father brought his older two children to the hospital to meet her.  They came bearing gifts of desperately-needed preemie-sized sleepers and onsies.  Each of the children had also picked out a stuffed toy for her.  Julia’s brother got her a little girl with the words “My First Doll” written across it, and her sister brought a Winnie the Pooh with a blanket attached to the bottom of it.  Julia’s nursery (her half of what was once my bedroom) was decorated with Pooh Bears everywhere, and I was delighted that her big sister had remembered that this was what I had chosen.  Her father had been against the bear décor from the first time I had mentioned it.  I never understood this and probably never will.

                When Julia was around three months old, I asked her pediatrician if she could start sleeping with a stuffed animal.  I was elated when she said yes.  I felt that it would help her transition back and forth between the two houses.  At the time, she went with her father from nine in the morning until four in the afternoon twice per week with roughly two to four days of mornings from nine to eleven.  I wanted her to have a familiar face, even if it was that of a stuffed animal.  The bear began going back and forth.  It never left her side, and she became very attached to him.  “Pooh” was actually one of her first words.

                I began searching for a secondary bear in case a need for replacement came about, but failed at all attempts.  There were many similar ones on the market, but they were all too different for Julia not to notice.  I gave up looking since there had been no incident. Pooh Pooh went to daycare and Daddy’s house and always came back, because Julia almost always had him or would remember to go get him before leaving.

 Fast forward to just a few months before her second birthday.  The week of Thanksgiving had arrived.  We went to my parents for dinner and stopped by with my in-laws.  We left and headed to a few stores that were open early for Black Friday shopping.  Poor Julia was falling asleep in the cart as we were leaving the final store, but her little lovey was still in hand.  Her father came to get her early the next morning.  When I picked her up a few days later, she didn’t come outside with her bear tucked under her arm per the norm. 

I asked her where he was, and Julia looked down at the ground with her arms crossed.  I looked to her father, who stated under his breath that, “We lost him Black Friday shopping.”  He retrieved a similar bear of a different color.  I asked if he had any clue where it was, and his reply was that he had already called everywhere. 

“Well, give me a list.  I’ll call again and once more in a few days,” I pleaded, but he refused for whatever reason he had, which I probably will never really know the answer to.  My best guess is that they were either at some point in a store that would be inappropriate for a toddler or were at some slut’s “friend’s” house. 

When we got in the car and started down the road, Julia suddenly cried out, “Mommy lost Pooh Pooh!”  I asked her who told her that.  “Daddy,” came the little sobs from the backseat. 

The last picture we have of original Pooh Pooh who
had just received a bath that morning but needed
another due to blue nail polish.

I couldn’t handle it anymore.  I had held myself in the most mature way possible up until that point, but I called my mom practically hysterical about the incident and how my child now thought that I was solely responsible for the disappearance of Pooh Pooh.  I picture my mother whipping out her laptop like a gunman going for a quick drawl like in the old western movies.  She looked on the websites of every nearby store to see if there was a bear close enough in similarity.  No such luck, until Eureka!  An eBay posting popped up in a Google shopping search.  Julia’s original Pooh Pooh probably cost fewer than ten dollars.  The new bear cost almost thirty with shipping, but Grammy wanted to be superhero for the day.

Once we knew that a bear was indeed coming within a week, I assured Julia that Pooh Pooh was just having a sleepover at Grammy and Pappy’s house.  He went away for a makeover and would be waiting for her the next time we visited them.  Mom even brought her a picture she had printed out from the eBay listing for Julia to carry around until the package came.  She asked for him at night the worst, so I had to tape the picture to her nightstand.  Finally the day came when they were reunited.  So far, this is the longest I have seen my daughter speechless.  She just held him and stared as though she couldn’t believe he was really still alive and well.  Now, Pooh Pooh stays at Mommy’s house.  I told her that he needs to hibernate. 

Loveys can provide a lot of comfort

I would recommend a few tips to anyone who wants their child to use a lovey.  First, always consult with your pediatrician.  SIDS is a very big concern with loveys.  You should take their advice on what age your child to be and what toys are suitable for your situation and for safety purposes.  Second, always have a backup before introducing your child to an item with the intent of making it a lovey.  Sometimes, even a third lovey wouldn’t be a bad idea, because you never know what could happen.  Switch them up every once in a while so that they all get a little bit of wear to them and have familiar scents transferred to them.  Third, before introducing a lovey in a situation similar to mine, you should sleep with the lovey yourself for a night or two before giving it to the child.  I know this sounds strange – adults sleeping with stuffed animals, but our pediatrician told me that this is a way to transfer your scent to the lovey.  The child can then smell your scent when they are not with you.  This can be helpful with daycare, visitation, or even if you just need to slip out to the grocery store for a bit and your little one is stuck at home with Dad.  Hopefully my story and these tips can help you when choosing to use a lovey for your little lovey. Feel free to comment any crazy stories about your own lovey mishaps.

Early Potty Training

I began with my daughter when she was just nine-months-old.  I remember the day that I bought her little, pink potty.  As I went through the checkout line at Wally World, the woman looked at Julia sitting in the cart and remarked, “Surely, you’re not buying this for this little girl.  It must be for her big sister.”

                “Actually, it is for her.  We’re starting early potty training today,” I proudly replied.

                “Well, you can’t do that.  That’s child abuse expecting a little one to do something like that,” she exclaimed.

                This is a hot topic with my family.  Every time someone notices that my daughter, who just turned two, is no longer wearing a diaper, there are lots of questions about how I did it.  My answers are often met with jealous stares at my child, as if it’s her fault that they did not put in the time and effort with their own children at an early age.  The information on this method is very scarce.  I actually stumbled upon it myself.  My mother had told me that I, as a baby, was potty-trained before I turned two.  I researched ways to potty train early and came upon an article about “elimination communication.”

                Unfortunately, articles about this will claim that your child can be toilet trained by the time they are walking.  This, in my experience, is coming from either some delusional nutcase or someone that is just trying to sell their book or a website membership.  If you can get your child to learn before turning two, this is ideal.  As most of us know, very few two-year-olds want to learn anything that puts them in a controlled setting.  I am going to just give you what I did, and what I will do with any of my future children.  The main thing to keep in mind is that every child is different and learns at their own pace.  There are many reasons to consider starting early: excessive diaper rash, eliminating waste of disposable diapers from the environment, the cost of diapers, or maybe you are just sick of changing them.  Whatever your reason, respect your child, and do not push them too hard.

               

               

potty = happy

Stage One

This beginning stage is usable at just about any age, from the time your child can steadily sit up on their own through the toddler years.  I started with Julia when she was around 10-months-old.  It’s really very simple.  Start off by sitting your child on the potty after meals, first thing in the morning, and right before going to bed.  These are just some of the times that are most common when starting out.  Let your child get up when they want to.  Whatever you do, do not force them.  By starting this way, you will learn your child’s signals for when they have to go.  Often times, a funny face or a shiver doesn't mean your kid is being silly or is cold but has to go.  You don’t have to do this all day, every day.  The point of doing this early teaches your child that it’s okay to sit on their potty and that this is where they should be going.  Once you start this, you’ll be cutting down on diaper costs and wastes, as well as those nasty diaper rashes.  You don’t have to offer big rewards either.  A simple round of applause sufficed for Julia. 

Another important part of potty training, whether starting out early or later on, is allowing your child to watch you go.  I know this sounds strange, but remember that your child wants to be like you.  I feel awkward going into personal details like this about ourselves, but in being helpful to others, I suppose I should do so.  Something that was beneficial for us was to go at the same time.  I had Julia clap for me just as we clapped for her.  Again, this goes back to the monkey-see-monkey-do.

Stage Two

                You can start this stage when the child is able to communicate verbally that they have to go.  This is where teaching your child “when to go” becomes important.  In this stage, your child is learning how to be self-aware of their body and how it works.  Diapers pull the wetness away from your child’s skin, so it is important to use another form of clothing for your child’s bottom.  Don’t throw out your diapers just yet, because you will still need them overnight and when leaving the house.  You will have limited choices on garments in small sizes.  You may have to fashion your own cloth diapers.  We found that disposable training pants were too large for Julia but were able to purchase cloth training pants in size 18 months online.  Some parents allow their children to simply be naked  at home when going through this stage.  Whatever you decide, make sure that your child will be able to tell when they are wet or soiled.  Be prepared to clean up lots of messes as you are probably used to diapers that don’t leak and don’t have to be rinsed and washed.  This is the most frustrating stage of all, because it can take a few months for your child to really get the hang of it and become accident-free.

                We started this stage when Julia was around 15-months-old.  Again, rewards are a great tool for success in this stage.  A mere clap is probably not the greatest reward.  A great reward ideas for this stage are food (a single potato chip or Gerber snack), playing games with the child (dress up time with Mommy or pretending to be zoo animals), or a favorite of my own was keeping a toy separate that is only played with as a potty reward.  Reward your child every time they make it to the potty without an accident.  Do not scold them when they don’t make it in time, instead explain to them that those things belong in the potty and that they need to tell you when they have to go.  It is important that you are always paying close attention to your child’s signals.  You cannot expect your child to tell you right away that they have to go.  Make sure you are teaching them to say the word you've chosen for potty time to prepare for the next stage.

Stage Three

Running out of skin for tattoos

                Once your little one is telling you that they have to go successfully before an accident, it’s time to move on to the next stage.  This is where you are expecting the most out of your child.  Be patient with them at all times.  You will now be teaching them to tell you every time, eliminating accidents until you are officially daytime potty trained.  This stage became successful for us when Julia was around 16-months-old.  You will have to plan on being home with your child for a few days.  This means not going anywhere.  Have a discussion with your child about what you expect from them and what they can expect from you.  You are going to expect your child to tell you every time they have to go, and they can expect a certain reward from you each time they do so.  Also, you’ll want to entice them with a large reward for the first day they go without an accident.  A great way to do the small rewards is with stickers or temporary tattoos.  This allows the child to show off their success to other family members and other people when you eventually get to go out somewhere.  Our large reward was to pick out a pet fish.  We took Julia to the store and showed her all the fishies that she could choose if she went a whole day without an accident.

                On day one, you will be staying home for the entire day.  Again, don’t scold for accidents but explain that they can’t get their reward unless they go in the potty.  Watch for their normal signals and ask them if they have to go before taking them.  Wait for an answer.  It is important that your kiddo is telling you that they have to go and not the other way around.  As much as it may frustrate you, allow them to have accidents if they are not telling you.  This shows them it is their responsibility to communicate their need to go.  On day two, follow the same as day one, but throw in some time to play outside or a quick trip to go get the mail or something similar to this.  You can only leave the house directly after a successful trip to the potty.  If your child is not getting the hang of this right away, you may have to go back to step two for a while and try again in a couple of weeks. 

Meet Pinky!

Repeat day two until you have a day without any accidents.  Just be prepared that it may take a few days.  You’ll have to plan your outings around successful potty times.  Use your discretion whether to put them in a diaper when going out for longer periods.  Keep your outings short and remind the child to tell you they have to go, even though you are not at home.  This may require an added reward for when you are out.  We took Julia to a moon bounce place as a rewarded outing one day.  We told her that if she told us she had to go while we were there, we would get her a stuffed toy from the gift shop.  Within the first half hour we found ourselves purchasing a pink monkey toy for her.  It had Velcro on its hands and legs, so we attached it to her and let her wear it.  She paraded that monkey around like she’d won a gold medal at the Olympics.  By that evening, we had been all day without an accident.  We headed to the store, and she picked out a pink fish.

Don’t automatically assume that your child is now completely potty-trained.  You will probably still have accidents, and undoubtedly your child will not get the hang of being potty-trained overnight for some time.  My Julia is now two, and she still can’t stay dry overnight.  We still have accidents here and there, but it gets better over time.  If you have shared custody of your child with your ex, just make sure you explain to them the process and hope for the best.  Daycare situations are the same way.  Most will be willing to help you out any way they can.  After all, it’s one less child to change every day.

Good luck with your potty training, and please pass this info on to your friends and family members with young children.  Feel free to leave comments on this blog about any reward ideas or training pant options that you've discovered or tried.

What's for Dinner

            We’ve been on a tight budget lately, so I’ve taken it upon myself to figure out ways to save on groceries.  I have always been one for couponing, but this goes well beyond just browsing through the store sales and clipping coupons.  It took me a long time to put all of this together, but once I got going, it became easier. 

            The biggest money saver in your kitchen is cutting down on waste.  By planning out your family’s meals for a month, you will know exactly what you need to buy.  No more purchasing the two pack of hamburger buns, only to find that they’ve gotten hairy before you even get to use one.  Start out by taking a blank calendar page and filling in the meals for every day.  In our case, we each do our own thing for breakfast, we eat the same things for lunch most days, and we have more variety for dinner.  Therefore, I only put what’s for dinner on most days.  Make your menu to what fits your family, but include everything that will be cooked, whether it’s just for your family or if the in-laws are coming over for a family get-together.  The next thing I did was make my shopping list.

Something that I recently discovered is to shop for nonperishable items and frozen foods at warehouse stores that sell items in bulk.  Most of these stores do not accept coupons, but if you are eligible for WIC or food stamps, you can use those.  I purchase the majority of our meats from such stores.  Because they come in bulk, I divide the packages up into portions right for the size of my family.  They go into baggies and into the freezer.  Prices on meat are already very low, and you can score even lower prices by looking for items that are about to go out of date.  I once found a package of Italian sausage for a quarter of the regular price.

I tallied up how much I would need of the items from the warehouse store for the entire month.  That was my first list.  After that, I made a list for every week.  These lists include only what is needed for that week.  The only exception to this rule is if you have a coupon that requires you to purchase multiple items.  The only task left is to attach any matching coupons to your lists and voil’a.  I used magnets to put everything on the fridge.  Just seemed to be the most convenient place.

The last thing is to make sure you stick to your list.  If your husband or kids are going to the store with you, steer clear of the isles that you don’t need anything from.  There’s nothing worse than planning a fifty-dollar trip and leaving having spent double because of chips, soda, and fruit snacks. 

This will help you cut the costs of throwing out expired food, get rid of your stock piles from couponing, and clear out more space in the pantry.  Consequently, following this practice helped us to add variety to our meals.  We were able to see that we ate a lot more pork than poultry and not anywhere near enough vegetables compared to pastas.  So happy meal planning and grocery shopping.